When Should Your Kids Stop Seeing You Naked

Now that I am a mom I find myself confronted with little peeping children always walking in on me in the bathroom. Toddlers know no bounds, at least mine don't. I have always considered myself a modest, private person but throughout pregnancies and now having two toddlers, there are no secrets. Doctors, nurses, my husband--they've seen it all. Blah. My kids run a close second. It is rare for me to use the bathroom without an intrusion. It struck me as my daughter, who is three, was asking me while I showered what my breasts were and I realized it is time for her to stop seeing me naked. So, up comes the age old question, when should my children stop seeing me naked?

First, I don't feel like there is a set age. I think it completely has to do with their development not some hard fast rule that 2 or 3 is the age. My three year old is old enough to understand privacy and modesty. We try very hard to explain to her that we keep covered up and don't flash our private parts to the world. She understands what her girl parts are and we have shifted the focus from calling them "girl" parts to "private" parts. My two year old, on the other hand, does not have that level of maturity yet. He is not as advanced as my daughter so he doesn't grasp the concept of his boy parts and not to touch it or show it off (a current issue, he's becoming a flasher). If he sees me naked he doesn't verbalize "what's that?" like my daughter does. This is why I say there is no specific age but rather their development. This will change with time and as your child gets older and can understand more you will be able to change the terminology and complexity of your answers.

Second, your family's attitude on modesty will affect when they should stop seeing mom/dad naked. My husband does not like intruders. He doesn't experience the level of intrusions that I do so he is not comfortable with it (not that I am...I'm just the parent home with them all day). We were raised with the same ideas on modesty and that is to generally say we stay covered up. Even now as adults we don't wear any shoulder revealing clothing, nothing deep cut, no short shorts, etc. Our tops are all tees and our bottoms are all knee length. I understand that we have a very conservative approach and that is not everyone's cup of tea. I heard a male celebrity in an interview tell the interviewer that his mom/sisters would walk around naked well through his teens and it was just a normal occurrence. Some people are comfortable with that, no problem, some are not. Determine what you want to teach your children and be prepared to explain it to them at their level. Your children will learn about it all eventually so it is best to hear it from you and in the way you want them to learn it.

Lastly, decide what your level of public humiliation you are willing to bear. Jennifer Garner recently said in an interview that Ben Affleck had taught their son all of the anatomically correct words for boy/girl parts and he would shout it out in public while directing his questions/statements to strangers. If you would be embarrassed to have your child tell the world what they saw, it's probably time they quit seeing you naked. On the flip side, even though it is not really appropriate, I would be much less embarrassed if my daughter asked a question using the verbage we have currently taught her.